A Parent's Guide to Teen Mental Health

 The teenage years have always been a time of extremes, and there are good reasons for this. Quite apart from trying to make sense of changing roles as teens move out of childhood towards adulthood, their hormones are going crazy. For a teen, everything's extreme.

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 However, today's teens have extra pressures that weren't true even fifty years ago. Easy communication, whether texting or social media, can make the pressure to fit in and excel intolerable for some teenagers. As parents, you have the ability to help your teens, but the trouble is that they're unlikely to volunteer to confide in you about their problems. That means you need to learn to recognise the signs and know how to approach the issues. It's been estimated that at least 20% of teens currently suffer from a diagnosable mental health issue. Here are some of the most common problems.

Peer Pressure

 Humans have an urge to fit in with what's seen as normal in their peer-group and, like everything, this becomes exaggerated during the teen years. Today, however, a teen's peer group can be everyone they interact with on social media, including influencers and celebrities. The compulsion to fit in can lead to obviously damaging behaviours, such as smoking, drinking alcohol, taking drugs or inappropriate sexual behaviour. However, it can also lead to feelings of poor body image, especially if they follower influencers, and this can result in depression,developing eating disorders or other threats to health. If you teen seems upset after being on social media, or seems to be showing symptoms of any of these issues, it's vital to talk to them, making it clear that they can say anything. Ask them what they feel normal behaviour is and challenge anything you feel is negative, but without belittling their views.

Bullying and Cyberbullying

 Bullying, which is closely related to peer pressure, has always been an issue, but it now has an even more virulent form — cyberbullying. The problem here is that it's almost impossible to escape from, as teens will see it every time they look at their smartphone or other device.

 Bullying may involve physical attacks, but it can also include exposure to ridicule, exclusion from groups and stalking or trolling behaviour on social media. Bullies will frequently spread malicious rumours to damage the victim's reputation or find embarrassing photos which they post online or circulate. Bullying can lead to depression, self-harming or even suicide. Again, talk to your teen, especially if they seem upset when coming off social media. If they actually have done something embarrassing they're being bullied for, make it clear that everyone does silly things sometimes and you still love and value them. If they're being bullied online, discuss with them where the trouble is coming from and how they can change their social media settings to avoid the negative content.

Academic Anxiety

 The pressure to succeed at school can be damaging at the best of times, but with normal education having been turned upside-down, many teens will be feeling even greater anxiety than usual. One approach is to help your teen raise their self-esteem. Challenge statements like "I'm no good at this", encouraging them to think instead of what they are good at. It also helps to focus your praise on effort, rather than achievement, so that they'll have an immediate reward for trying hard.

 At the same time, you can help your teen practically to make studying more effectively. Some of this will depend on what they find difficult, such as helping them make lists if organisation is a problem or encouraging them to meditate before doing their homework. Make sure your home is a study-friendly place, as well as encouraging them to get plenty of sleep — and spend enough downtime having fun.

Things to Remember to Help Your Teen

·  Make it easy for your teen to talk to you. That means not waiting for a crisis, but getting them used to the idea they can talk to you about anything.

·  Many problems for teens today come from social media, so find a way of monitoring their social media use without it feeling intrusive.

·  Talk to your teen's teachers, club leaders, sports coaches etc. if you think problems may involve these contexts.

·  Ask for professional help if necessary, and make it clear to your teen that there's nothing shameful about it.

·  Look after yourself. Parents of a troubled teen often suffer from stress too, but you won't be able to help them if you're not in a good place yourself.

Register with TutorExtra for more resources about how to support your teen.